Striving to Be One

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share this devotional I wrote a couple of years ago on love and marriage. While I am certainly no expert when it comes to matters such as this, I can agree with others that good communication and a willingness to stay committed to one another no matter the circumstances in life is vital to the relationship.

Often times, our human nature is to sit back and wait for that special someone to put the effort into the relationship or do something for us. I know I’m guilty of this. It’s not that we aren’t deserving of receiving something great from our spouses, but loving someone is an action from both sides.

So, what does it mean when a husband and wife are one? They are committed and loyal to each other – making their relationship a priority only behind a relationship with Christ. It means they work as a team to build up each other and their family. They each bring different traits, skills, talents, and gifts to the marriage that are mutually beneficial. They learn and grow teaching each other.

It does not mean one dominates the other or that one loses their individuality. Instead, each one becomes stronger standing together and on their own.

My husband and I recently celebrated our 28th anniversary. I’m so grateful for him. It has not always been easy as we are both very strong-willed and opinionated people. Yet, no matter how hard things may have been at times, we have never given up on each other and strive to be one. I’ve learned and grown in priceless ways being his wife.

I can remember how we would fight after we first married whenever I shared a problem or frustration I was having with someone else. As most men do, he would try to fix it for me. He would evaluate where the other person involved might be coming from and often tried to address the problem from their point of view. I just wanted him to listen and take my side, especially if I was the one being treated unfairly. 

On the other hand, he would try to get me to look at both sides of the story.  He wanted to help me try to make amends or resolve the problem. I would get so angry, because I often thought he was defending the other person involved instead of his own wife. Yet, he was really looking out for my best interest and greatly helping me in a way I didn’t fully understand. When I finally stepped back emotionally from these situations, I learned something so invaluable.

I learned to walk in another person’s shoes. I learned to think about what the other person might be going through. What are they feeling? What are their motives? This person mattered to God just as I do. I learned how to try to truly forgive (something I still work on to this day). I grew in my faith and have a deeper appreciation of Christ’s forgiveness towards me.

God knew I needed this and gave me a husband who has great empathy, understanding, and insight into the feelings of others.

If you are married, strive to be one with your spouse each and every day.  Learn, grow, and honor God with your marriage.